Matters of the Heart! And just a few tears on my part!

I have never spoken with you about my daughter Emily.  Today is the day.  I promise not to go into great details, but only to tell you  that she was born mentally challenged.  Emily will be 28 in June.  One and half years ago,  I let her go.  She wanted so badly to be like any other child.  She wanted to leave home when she grew up.  I cried, I yelled, and I cried some more, but I knew in my heart it was the right time, and the right thing to do for her. 

As a mother I asked,  what would she do without me?  Who would brush her hair?   I knew she wouldn't.  It's scary to ask yourself, can you love your child with all your heart if she doesn't have her hair brushed?  I took pride in how she looked.  I dressed her, I did her hair, I put on her makeup.  I wanted her to appear to you that she was well rounded.  I am her mom.  Truth be told, I wanted you to believe I took good care of her.   So 18 months ago my parenting was put to the test,  Emily moved to a group home.  She lives with 8 other women and  she does very well.  She tells me she loves me, and then says,"mom I'm not ever moving back with you." 

She is never wearing what I would dress her in.  Her hair is seldom brushed to my liking.  She only wears make-up on holidays, and I never say a word.  Today I went to see her at her day program, and took pictures of all the adults she spends the day with.  So here is a corner of  life as we know it.

He always ask if I can stay and watch The Price is Right with him.  He reminds me repeatedly how much weight Drew Carey has lost!

I've known Donnie for years.  He only speaks a few words, but he is always smiling! Plus I don't think I've ever seen him without a suit coat on!

His eyes tell a story, but he cannot.  He has never spoken a word in his life!

Jack is one of Emily's dearest friends.  They volunteer together delivering Meals on Wheels.  She tells me they are a team.  When you speak with him, he never looks at you, he always turns away.

She has a laugh you would fall in love with.  I took pizza, she asked when would I be visiting again.  I said soon, she said not soon enough.  We both giggled!

I love this guy.  Many years at different events we have had to watch him have seizures.  He just keeps smiling through it all.   Lesson learned!

I had a conversation with her today on her beautiful pink hoodie.   I told her many people would see her picture and know she was very pretty.  That is the smile I received!

This gal I'm very close with.  I've known her many years. She has quite a personality, she is Emily.  She will be 28 in June.  She is my daughter, and I let her go live her life.  Love you girl, you know that I do.

Soooooo, (tears wiped away here)  I wanted to do this post for awhile.  Not that I don't trust you. There is just some matters of the heart I feel I need to protect.  I know, silly me.  Recently a friend and fellow blogger  was speaking with me on the phone.  We got on the topic of my life and raising Emily, which she didn't know about.  That was ok.  Next day she sent me an e-mail that said, "I knew you were pretty darn special, now I know you are golden."  Thank you Char.  You made this post possible.  These are the golden people in my life.

Last summer, Emily  asked if we could go to the car show.  I said do you really want to do that on such a beautiful a summer day.  Oh yes, she had heard about it on the news, and that was where we needed to be.

As always, I just can't thank you enough for stopping by.